- your cat thinks you live in the shed, and you just visit the house sometimes.
2. you are driving down the street admiring the lumps and bumps and interesting crotches and you all of a sudden realize you’re lusting after trees.
3. you get excited at seeing how far your gouge can shoot streamers of wood.
4. your ute will automatically drive itself toward the sound of a distant chain saw.
5. the largest landscaping feature of your home is a stack of logs of various species.
6. you name your dogs “Woodfast”, “Jet”, “Oliver”, or “Teknatool”.
7. you can’t see the forest for the trees…..literally.
8. you take your mini lathe on vacations with you (just in case).
9. your clean clothes fresh from the clothes dryer have (clean and dry) wood shavings in the pockets.
10. you have to sprinkle sawdust on your food before it tastes right.
11. you have a hole in your elbow from forgetting to move the tailstock.
12. your shower drain is clogged with wood chips.
13. you feel an inexplicable emptiness every time you throw a piece of wood in the bin.
14. you know every burl on every tree between home and work and you hope to catch someone cutting down a tree that has a burl on it and hope they have no clue what it is.
15. you tear out the bottom seam in your work shirt pockets so they don’t fill up with shavings.
16. you hear a chainsaw start and you tell your wife, “You’ll be back in a minute”.
17. you’re watching a movie like Avatar, see a CGI tree that’s half a mile high, and think “I wonder if I could get a chunk of that on my lathe…”
18. you find wood shavings in your bed because you were too tired to shower after finishing your piece at 2 am and your wife knows where you went in the house by the trail of wood chips you left behind.
19. your “signature style” no longer has anything to do with how you sign your name.
20. a “void” has become something to be desired.
21. your wife has given up trying to keep wood chips out of the house.
22. watching Star Trek personnel in the forest of an alien planet, you send them a subspace message to beam back a section of that fallen tree trunk they just climbed over.
23. you come to the back door of the house and your wife tells you to STRIP, but not in the tone of voice you hope to hear her say it.
24. And you can be absolutely positive you’re a wood turner if your wife says to you, “We have ENOUGH ROUND THINGS, and the next round object you bring to me better have a five-carat diamond in it!”
godsnumberis7 